
I spent all night combing through pictures, reading old diaries, searching long-abandoned email accounts. In the trunk of my car are shoeboxes and duffel bags and plastic containers stuffed to the brim with photographs and notebooks and letters, everything I could find about who I’d been. I let the beat drive me as the buildings whip past. There’s a trance beat playing from the stereo, cigarette ash on the dashboard, crushed fast-food bags on the passenger side, a banana peel on the back seat like an unfinished joke. A little bit west of there is the convenience store where I bought my first legal beer, twenty-one and on a tear, and a few blocks farther is the tower on Sunset where I saw my face on the side of a building for the first time, my chin tilted toward the camera and my eyes looking down, all of me plastered twenty stories high and gazing out over the city. Just south of there is Cherokee Park, where my mother told me she did drugs for the first time when she was a seventeen-year-old runaway and a bad shot made her wrist blow up like a balloon.
Memory lane movie#
That road takes me east of there and south, past the shake shop on Hollywood Boulevard where I would sit and eat fries and drink a chocolate malt and study the black-and-white faces of the old movie stars plastered on the walls. Excerptįirst, there is a road, a road that takes me away from my house in the San Fernando Valley, the house where I live alone with the picture of a buffalo my mother sketched in pencil on a white canvas hanging above the fireplace. As his career in television took off, the stress of wearing so many masks and trying to please so many different people turned his use of drugs and alcohol into full-blown addiction.Ī lyrical and intimate confession, apology, and cautionary tale, Miss Memory Lane is an unforgettable story of dreams deferred and dreams fulfilled of a family torn apart and rebuilt and of a man stepping into the light as no one but himself. But he was still a broke, lonely, confused teenager, surrounded by people telling him he could be a star as long as he never let anyone see his true self.

From his unorthodox childhood in a small Kansas town, to coming to terms with his sexuality, he keeps nothing back.īy sixteen, he had been signed by the world’s top modeling agency and his face appeared on billboards. Now, Colton bravely pulls back the curtain on his life and career, revealing the incredible highs and devastating lows.


But what would they think if they knew his true story? If they knew where he came from and the things he had done? He had millions of social media followers who constantly told him they loved him.

Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday.Īs he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time in years and with that, discovered profound self-awareness. He’d had two seizures, lost the sight in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatry hold. A brutally honest and moving memoir of lust, abuse, addiction, stardom, and redemption from Arrow and Teen Wolf actor Colton Haynes.įour years ago, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital.
